Treatment #11: Full Force Ahead!!

That’s right…orders are: continue with full dosage. Not really a surprise…she used exactly the reasoning I thought she would: I’ve already had 3 lower doses, so I need full doses to make up for that. And, of course, since I only have 2 treatments left…let’s go for the gold (or something like that!!) I can put up with anything when I know the end is in sight!!

So, I just got home, and have my lovely, elegant, and fashion-statement pump hanging around my neck until Thurs. My fingers are not working well (so this will be short), and my throat is constricting. Other than that, the other side effects are waiting their turn to show up. I’m hoping to be able to go to my old support group tonight from 6-8. I missed a couple of sessions in October (remember Cancun? I hardly do!), so this is a makeup from that time. It’s almost 4:00 now so I’ll see how I feel in a couple of hours.

The other piece of news from today is that I’ve lost 9 pounds since I left in January and was last weighed at this clinic. (I’m sure I had heavier clothes on then!) So I got a firm eyeball-to-eyeball lecture from my NP. “No more weight loss!!” Of course, a dozen of my friends would have told me that, as well…and I’m not disagreeing!! So the plan is for me to eat “something” (she’s not fussy what) every two hours. Even at night she wants me to keep crackers by my bedside so that I’ll eat something during the night. What a drill sergeant!!

Lucky for us, we have a couple of very kind neighbors who are bringing meals over this week! Love it!! Then starting next week we will get Meals on Wheels delivered again for the remainder of April, like we did in January. That will take a lot of pressure off Jim…and me too, for that matter.

As for my countdown…today is Day #24 in my race to May Day/Turnaround Day. I’m not going to change that based on any of the decisions that were made today. I think it still gives me enough time to recover from my last treatment.

Lastly—please do not feel sorry for me. If you want something specific to pray for: I need strength and courage to go through the next 4 weeks. By past experience, and factoring in cumulative effects, I can expect 12-15 of those days to be in the 1-2 range on the Tonneson/Richter scale. (“1” is really miserable; “2” is fairly miserable!) Hopefully I can also hope for 4-5 “good days”: 4-5 on the T/R scale…however, I never got to a 4 this past treatment time, so maybe that’s hoping for too much. We’ll see. So—that leaves my “3” days, which I describe as tolerable—able to do 1-2 things (lunch, grocery shopping, etc.) and that’s my limit. (Those are looking more like “good days” about now!” ) Maybe I can count on 4-8 of those kinds of days. Does that add up to around 24? You figure it out…my chemo brain protesteth such hard work!

If I don’t write for several days, it’s likely that my energy is really low. I do find, however, that sometimes writing a post is energizing. We’ll see what I’m inspired to do!

By the way—several people have said something about visiting me once I’m done. You don’t necessarily have to wait. If you’re close by, or “in the area” for the day—check with me. Visitors bring energy, and I’m always quite honest about when “time’s up”!

Thanks again for all the support! I’m heading ‘home’—out of the darkness!!  I’m going to make it!! Hallelujah!!